I arrive at the dentist for my root canal. IPod touch in hand the nurse whisks me away to torture room #3. She applies some topical anesthetic to my gums and cheek area. This isn't to numb the tooth for drilling, nope, this is just to numb the area for the 3 injections I'm going to get to numb the tooth for drilling. It takes about 5 minuets for the anesthetic to start working so I setup my IPod for surgery. I've got tons of music, lots of podcasts and the latest Dan Brown audiobook. So, what goes best with high pitch drilling noise and the smell of burning calcium?
The podcasts are out, they're reserved for the car only. Music could be played loud but isn't that interesting to listen to for 2 hours, the audiobook would be a good listen and I have been trying to get through it for the past few months. Audiobook it is! Dan Brown you have another opportunity to underwhelm me with your simplistic writing style and predictable plot twists, God I wish there was another Harry Potter book for me to read.
Audiobook all cued up, lips weighing 20Lbs, in comes the dentist " you're going to feel a slight prick", bullsh!t!! Three needles going into your gums and depositing what feels like a quart of hot liquid in there is not a slight prick!
After another 10 minuet wait it's time for surgery. The nurse clamps some metal contraption to my tooth. Four of it's cold steel prongs stick out of my mouth, one of them sticking me in the nose. She then proceeds to stretch a sheet of blue latex over it. Apparently this is a dental dam (Google it).
Doctor is ready with drill in hand, Dan Brown playing on IPod, let the fun begin. I have to say, it wasn't extremely painful, the shots did their job. There was however the smell of burning teeth, the loud sound of drill-on-teeth action, an uncomfortable vibration in my jaw and of course the occasional, shocking nerve pain. At least I have my book to listen to, well not exactly. It is impossible to listen to and concentrate on a book while getting a root canal. I didn't hear a word they were saying. I might as well have had Fox and Friends on in the background, just a dull drone like noise that's just noticeable enough to be annoying. I should have went with the music! No problem, I'll change it. Have you ever tried to navigate through 3 levels of menus on a touch screen device without being able to look at it? Lets just say all I managed to do was speed up the narration until it sounded like a kid reading after drinking a pot of coffee and inhaling a canister of helium. Thankfully the dentist had to stop for a second to put another tip on his drill so I managed to raise the IPod to eye level ,back out to the music section and randomly select a song. Anyone want to guess what it was? Country! I like country music just as much as the next guy, I've even been known to blast it from my boat on Sundays at Rum Point, however it just didn't seem to be the right genre for dental surgery. That's ok, I'll just skip to the next song (Please refer to the section about navigating a IPod Touch without looking at it). Eventually I got to some suitable music and managed to settle down for my 2 hour tooth excavation. I have to say, best artist to listen to while getting a root canal, Snoop Dogg.
I won't go through all the details of the procedure, lets just say there was a whole lot of poking, prodding and scraping. This is defiantly something you should try and avoid. I managed to make it through though, tooth intact. Apparently I have to come back in 3 months to get a cap put on the tooth, hopefully that wont involve any drilling.
By the way, if any of you are wondering what all this will cost me, over $2000.00! In Germany for that amount of money I could have gotten the same amount of punishment but it would have been applied by a blond woman in leather with a whip and ball gag. In the future I'll take better care of my teeth.
No comments:
Post a Comment